is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
