I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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