Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
