So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
