I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We had to coat check the pizza.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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