WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
