Barsexuality is the new black.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
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