i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I could fuck to npr.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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