so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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