a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
