Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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