New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize