You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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