sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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