Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it because I queefed?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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