the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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