omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
