So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
