butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
