I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
