I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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