your thong is hanging out like whoa
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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