I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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