It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
