This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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