You can't special order awesome
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
