No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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