Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
