I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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