At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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