So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
