i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize