dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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