She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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