Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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