It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just cropdusted the office
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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