is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
