apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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