I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I enjoy the company of your penis
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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