He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.