In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
