i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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