Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
