covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
