just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize