She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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