How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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