Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you will always have a special place in my vag
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
