I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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