Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
