I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize