i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
