and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Randomize
