When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
