A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
