When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
