Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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