You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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