So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
