Swine flu. Run for my life!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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